24 5 / 2012
Permalink 2,919 notes
20 5 / 2012
![jenkirkman:
“I was just having lunch sitting at the bar. I overheard this conversation between the waitress and the probably thirty-something-year-old guy next to me.
Waitress: “Would you like a lemon or a lime with that?”
He gets quiet. He says, “Ahhh. Ahhh”
Waitress: “Lemon or lime?”
He whispers: “The green one.”
Waitress: “What?”
He says, “I like the green fruit with my drinks.”
Waitress: “What….green…fruit? Kiwi?”
He says, “No. List the first two again.”
Waitress: “Lemon or lime?”
He says: “Whatever the green one of those is.”
Then he spots a lime on the bar and says, “That. I want that.”
HE DOES NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LIME AND A LEMON. A HUMAN BEING MAN WHO HAS A WALLET AND CLOTHES AND HAS BEEN ON EARTH FOR AT LEAST THREE DECADES - CALLS A LIME “THE GREEN FRUIT.”
PLEASE STOP CALLING AMERICA THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
THANK YOU, THE MGMT.
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“I was just having lunch sitting at the bar. I overheard this conversation between the waitress and the probably thirty-something-year-old guy next to me.
Waitress: “Would you like a lemon or a lime with that?”
He gets quiet. He says, “Ahhh. Ahhh”
Waitress: “Lemon or lime?”
He whispers: “The green one.”
Waitress: “What?”
He says, “I like the green fruit with my drinks.”
Waitress: “What….green…fruit? Kiwi?”
He says, “No. List the first two again.”
Waitress: “Lemon or lime?”
He says: “Whatever the green one of those is.”
Then he spots a lime on the bar and says, “That. I want that.”
HE DOES NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LIME AND A LEMON. A HUMAN BEING MAN WHO HAS A WALLET AND CLOTHES AND HAS BEEN ON EARTH FOR AT LEAST THREE DECADES - CALLS A LIME “THE GREEN FRUIT.”
PLEASE STOP CALLING AMERICA THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
THANK YOU, THE MGMT.
Permalink 607 notes
17 5 / 2012
I really should start
on this essay I’m supposed to be writing
but so far i’ve managed to paint my nails and scroll through two days worth of missed tumblr dashboard
i’d say i’ve been pretty productive
oh and i’ve tweeted a few times and gotten up repeatedly to get more food
15 5 / 2012
and then the kid on the right lololololol i can imagine how that sentence finishes out
(Source: lolinternets, via jdsteffens)
Permalink 33,047 notes
15 5 / 2012
Anonymously try to seduce me.
Bonus points if you do it as a fictional character of your choice. Seriously, those ones are fun.
hahahahahaha i would love this so much please please please
(via uprising-in-panem)
Permalink 60,933 notes
